Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Beer and aspartame


I once knew a girl who drank her soda with half of it filled with Coke and half of it filled with Diet Coke. I revelled in her audacity, because that mix is the substance 99% of people will find something wrong with. She's my hero because of her concoction.

But this isn't really her story, besides the anti-aspartame folks probably dislike her mixture as much as the anti-sugar folks. This story is the story of aspartame. For those of you who don't know, aspartame is the same as NutraSweet, which is in Diet Coke.

I used to joke and say that aspartame made me bald. It was a joke because I'd never tried it before I went bald. I've always bald-facedly laughed in the faces of anti-aspartame folks. Actually, it's more that I've always thought that aspartame can't be as deadly as people say it is. I try to not laugh at people.

Then I read one of Alobar's posts where he says that aspartame is a poison. It all makes sense now, because now I know how to deal with aspartame.

If you ingest most poisons that aren't immediately lethal, the cure is to drink a lot of water. So, I've decided that from now on, I'll drink at least as much non-aspartame drinks as I drink aspartame drinks.  My days of drinking Diet Coke all day long are over, as are my days of slowly poisoning myself.

Which leads me to another problem that needs a solution. If all you drink is beer, then you'll get dehydrated and get a headache.  You need to drink about as much non-alcoholic beverage as you do beer to avoid dehydration.

Putting both of those together, I'm changing my drinking regimen to only beer and Diet Coke.  Drinking the beer will flush out the poison aspartame and drinking the Diet Coke will hydrate me from the alcohol.

It's nearly perfect.


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11 comments:

  1. Problem solved. I think you need to put your smarts and genius problem solving to another issues that lays at hand....the oil spill! I wonder if Aspartame can be the cure?

    Again keeping me giggling on this gloomy Tuesday!

    XOXO
    Yours Truly

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  2. Good point! I'll have to go pour a can of Coke in the Gulf of Mexico to see if it helps.

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  3. This topic is near and dear to my heart! I am an avid aspartame hater (unless it can clear up the oil spill!)Is splenda really safer than sweet-n-low? I highly doubt it. A few of my splenda loving friends hate beer and see how deadly the dangers of drinking are. Yet they love, adore, and worship the ground that splenda was created from. I just don't get it but I am glad you brought up the topic!

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    1. Aspartame is in Splenda,,, Sweet-no-low does not have that but has sucrose,,,, which is not the same but is a leader in "the cause of bladder cancer," all artificial sugar is bad, but aspartame is the worst. You are better off with Sweet-no-low, but still better off if you refrain from both. Diet soda has aspartame while regular soda has high fructose corn syrup. The regular soda is better, but when you ingest any artificial sweetener, your body might think that it should make more sugar, "insulin, " so you are getting a "double dose" of sugar and your body craves more carbs...... it is an endless cycle that I just realized.... Been researching this for a while now.... even crystal light has aspartame in it.,,,,,, the b est thing is straight water.... :)

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  4. True, true, so many sweeteners, how do we decide if they're good for us or not? Thanks for the comment!

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  5. Actually, Swampy old pal, Diet Coke is just gonna help dehydrate you. If you're gonna drink all that beer and Diet Coke, you're gonna need to chase it down with a gallon (or swimming pool) of H2O.

    Hugs To Ya,

    Raindrop

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  6. You missed the obvious opportunity to drink half the Diet Coke and then refill the can with beer. And the fact that in the spirit of Diet Coke you should pair it with light beer.

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  7. Ooh, excellent point! I'll try that sometime, when I'm really, really drunk.

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  8. There are 92 negative effects that aspertame has on humans. One of those is retardation!!!!

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  9. Hmm. Beer probably doesn't do much to help with that, then.

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